Sunday, November 7, 2010

A lost a friend and some found perspective

Image (and a tasty bread recipe) from

This weekend, the smell of homemade bread fills our house in honor of a friend who passed away a few days ago. Why bread? Well, she gave us our bread maker as a wedding gift, so it just felt like a good thing to do.

I’m struggling with this loss, which is natural. Losing a friend is hard. But this particular loss is hitting me on a few different levels. You see, she and Mom were both diagnosed with cancer right around the same time. (You can read more about Mom’s diagnosis here.)

The thing about cancer is it can go one of two ways. Mom’s has gone one way (she continues to heal and find some much needed strength), and our friend's, heartbreakingly, went the other way. It just goes to show you that life is incredibly unstable. Why are our hands dealt the way they are?

I was recently visiting a narcolepsy message board as I’m known to do on occasion, and I came across a thread about a person who said something along the lines of this, “Sometimes I’d rather be dead than have to deal with narcolepsy.” Narcolepsy is difficult and my heart absolutely goes out to this person, but I just can’t imagine feeling this way. Life is precious. Sure, having this illness is a pain in the ass, but we all have our challenges to deal with. At least our paths are still on the road of living. At least we still have time to eat those tasty doughnuts, to play with those rambunctious doggies, to hug the ones we live!

I miss my friend. She was a very good, very gentle, very kindhearted woman. Her passing leaves an absence in this world. But I’m thankful I’m alive to miss her. I’m thankful Mom is alive to miss her. And whether it’s November, a wonderful month for expressing gratitude, or any other month of the year, I hope we can all recognize the blessings that surround us on our paths.


Hot Wheels and Glue Guns said...

That's the hard, frustrating thing about cancer: some people live theu it and thrive, some struggle and lose a pinaful battle. I've seen both as well. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

I bet your friend is so happy to see you making bread with her gift! Hope it was yummy!

Ohana in Bend said...

i noticed a while back that i was using the work 'hate' allot. i told myself i wasn't going to use it so freely anymore. but i just read your post about the loss of your friend to cancer and cancer is hateful. I Do Hate Cancer. it robs, steals, and destroys. i lost my best friend to cancer, 19 years ago, my mom. it is good to miss your friend, and important to go on with life. it is important!

Holly said...

I'm so sorry to hear :(

*reyanna* said...

I'm so sad for you! I'm sure she'd be stoked that you are making bread with your bread machine! :-) Hugs to you, and I'll have some buttered bread for breakfast today, in honor of your friend. :-)

Unknown said...

Very sorry to hear of your friends passing.

Cindy Tobey said...

I'm so sorry for your loss Megan.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on living life and being thankful. It's not always easy to do, but definitely the best thing to do. Great reminder! Thanks.

Amber said...

Thanks for sharing your perspective, Megan, as it has enlightened mine. My thoughts are with you at this time in your rememberance of your friend.