Thursday, August 13, 2009

To go or not to go? This is my question.

My ten-year high school reunion is this week. Now I’m faced with the inevitable question: do I attend? I could use your advice. Here are some of the thoughts going through my head:

  1. I would likely be flying solo. My sweet hubby will join me (though, I imagine he won’t be thrilled about the idea), but it appears none of my closest HS pals will be there. Since they’re the ones I’d want to see the most, is it worth going knowing they won't be there?

  2. Most of my pals are on Facebook. Thanks to the magic of my online book o’ faces, I can keep in touch with my HS pals on a daily (vs. yearly) basis.

  3. I’m fat. Okay, this is a half joke. I may not be the twig I was in HS, but who is? I wouldn’t let my appearance keep me from attending, but it does cause me to hesitate.

  4. Am I accomplished? That’s the point of reunions, right? To measure up and see who’s done the most? I know this isn’t supposed to be the purpose, but I know that deep down it sort of is. I have a wonderful spouse, a lovely home, happy dogs and a good job, but is it all enough? I was our class valedictorian. Are people going to expect me to come in with letters behind my name? I’m 28 and have yet to have children. Is that going to make me look like a failure? I know these thoughts probably sound silly, but I’m being honest here and these are the thoughts racing through my head.

  5. Tickets are $60 each. Ouch!

  6. I have this nagging feeling I should go. Despite these rational reasons to pass on this event, I have this nagging feeling I should attend. But why? To sit and mingle with people who most likely won’t remember me anyway? Or is it that I just hate to miss this milestone in life?

Help! I have only a day or two to decide.

Would you go if you were me? Did you go to your ten-year? Are you glad you did or did you find that it wasn't really worth the time? Did it feel like a competition or was it an enjoyable experience? Any perspective or thoughts you have to share would be appreciated. Thanks!


{VICKI} said...

I haven't been to any of my reunions (i graduated 23 years ago)-- any of the friends that I wanted to see--I was still in touch with anyway.

Emily Call said...

mine was last year and I didn't go. I decided that I already keep in touch with the people that I want to... I don't regret not going. Good luck with your decision.

Oh, and you are not FAT! you look great!

Dave Omer said...

Interesting points, Megan. I've been having a lot of the same. After all my deliberation, I decided that I would go if I didn't live 800 miles away. The main reason is to renew those friendships that I shouldn't have forgotten about, but that I have.

But I do have to admit, I'm much more drawn to the picnic (BBQ, whatever) that they're doing before the 'official' reunion, mostly a) it doesn't cost $ and b) I think there'll be less of a competitive feeling there. Anyhow, those are my thoughts.

Latisha said...

I read your post...what is that nagging feeling? Could it be a "god thing" maybe?
Let me give you an example... A few months ago a few friends of mine were getting together at a local scrapbook store to stamp. I had a lot on my plate that week and really should have stayed home, but I "felt" I really should go. Well one of the ladies (never met her ever) there was from out of state, and was in town to go to the Mayo clinic. She was about to go through a lot of tests (I have gone through). We became fast friends and when she came back for surgery I went to the hospital to visit, and I was able to answer a lot of questions her and her family had (I have Crohn's disease) So in that example it was a God thing, I don't believe in coincidences.
I did not go to my HS reunion, we were living in South Carolina at the time and flying back to CA for a reunion seemed kind of silly (plus I think my husband couldn't get leave).
I only know you from online and our brief meeting at CHA but this is what I notice:
What people are going to notice the most from being around you, is that you are truly happy, you are not faking it. It does not matter what your job title is, what size clothes you wear, or how many children (or lack of) you have. What your classmates will remember most and probably be jealous of, is your happiness! I think you are putting too much pressure on yourself, go have fun and make a new memory you can scrap book about lol.

Latisha said...

sorry about the book i just wrote LOL

Louchia said...

Well I went to mine (twice, because there was a 7-years then a 15-years reunion) and I enjoyed it!!

No married (even single at that time), no kids, bigger than I was in HS but I had a blast! People I used to like were still likeable and people I didn't like at that time... well we didn't talk either now.

Good luck with your decision

flibbertigibbet said...

I didn't want to go to mine last year, but I'm so glad I did. No one was competitive or mean, we just all said, "look at where life took us, who knew?" No one measures up to where they thought they'd be, but life is so good and its nice to know others think that too. I would go without my husband if he didn't want to go.

Robert said...

As mentioned previously, I would be going if it was more conducive to my schedule. But it is what it is I suppose.

I agree with Dave on this one. Go to the BBQ and skip the reunion.

Melissa H. said...

If $ is not the issue, I'd say go. You might meet some really nice people that you didn't know in HS and make some new friends. I went to my 10 year reunion at age 28 married, without kids. It wasn't a big deal to not have kids yet as some people are waiting until they are closer to 40 to even have their first child. So my vote is for going and making the most of it!! The next reunion won't be for another 10 years and that's when you really take a good look into the mirror and decide to start an exercise plan;)

Cassi said...

Hi Megan, I'm the "same" as you 28, married, no kids, good job, etc. I'm not going to my reunion for a couple of reasons. The most important being that the folks I want to see won't be there. The second is the time it would take to make the trip just doesn't work with my schedule. I definitely had a lot of the same feelings you did, but in the end for me it was about seeing those I cared for the most. Since they won't be there, it's just not worth it for me. As far as catching up with all the other folks, that's what FB is for IMO. You'll make a good decision, I'm sure of that.

The Sonboul's said...

I totally understand this!
I can never get over the "$60" for each ticket! Ouch is right!

It's a hard call, but I would go. just to see old friends :)

Just Us said...

I think that you are plenty no worries there. As far as suggestions, I would say to figure out if you are going for you, or for all those other reasons. If it's not for you, maybe you should plan another time just to meet up with the girlies you want to see from high school. Good luck!!

Nicole said... kinda sounds like you dont really want to go, but I'm sure you'll have some fun if you go. You never know u might met new a paper crafting buddy. So I say go mingle and have fun. Tell us all about it. I personally think you have accomplished alot and you are sucessful and u should be proud of yourself(cause I'am).

I haven't had my reunion yet but I plan on going if I'm able. I went to my fiance's reunion with him, but we just went the day events like BBQ and stuff like that.

Tara said...

first of all...LOVE the profile are HOT!! lol... so... go to the reunion and show it off... you are not fat..., you are accomplished and ya know, if these people dwell on things like that, then that's their prob! Don't let it stop you, go in confident and have fun.
I went to mine and i was the same way, i was not too close to ANY of my old school friends really, i had outside buddies. But i went anyway, solo, because i had just gone through a divorce (with another old school man who was also in our class..uugh weird) i went in solo and just sat down with everyone and ya know, i had a ball.... i was very skeptical too, but it ended up, i was glad i went. and what's great is... if you are not having fun, you can just leave.. hehehe.... and then you'll know!

nelia said...

Go. You won't regret it. You only get one chance - and there are always some great surprises.

Kim J. said...

Well, I didn't go to mine . . . for precisely the reasons you outlined. None of my close friends were going -- mainly because our brain-dead student body rep didn't tell anyone about the reunion until the week before. Ugh! But we all see each other on a yearly-ish basis and keep in touch on Facebook. Really, there was just no compelling reason to fork over $75 (!!!) bucks to see people I wasn't close to.

Anyway, that's what I did. :) Good luck, Megs!

tccba said...

This may be late, but here goes! I went to my 10 year even though the people I really wanted to see weren't there. I was surprised at how many people I did see that I forgot about or didn't think would be fun to see--and they were. I had my first baby by then, and I was one of the few parents. Everyone else had gained way more weight than me--some were even pregnant there. As far as being accomplished--I think being editor of a major magazine is pretty darn accomplished. Does it get any more accomplished than that? I am now trying to decide if I should go to my 20th, and after typing this, I think all these things are still true--so I may go afterall! If you do go, have fun. If not, you have another opportunity in 10 years!

Pam Callaghan said...

Hi Megan! :D
I did not go to mine, I have lost contact with most of my friends and so I wasn't really motivated. Plus my high school was really big so I didn't really know everyone in my class. I do have my fifteen year coming up in a year or so though.. hmmmm
So, my advice is go if you want to go, but don't force yourself too.

Sandra Correale said...

So, did you go??? I went to both of mine. My 20 year was worth it since I've since relocated to the Midwest from California.