Year after year, I find myself making resolutions that I undoubtedly end up abandoning about a month in. So, this year, rather than set myself up for failure, I’ve decided that honesty is the best policy. These are my anti-resolution resolutions for 2009:
1. Be Less Active: Improving my fitness tops my list of resolutions just about every year, but I keep gaining weight and adding to my muffin top squish, only to feel bad about my enormous failure (pun intended). Not this year. No ma’am. This year I’m going to embrace my lethargic ways. Okay, I’m not going to just let myself go, but I’m not going to beat myself up for taking a nap after a long day of work when I should be hopping on my elliptical.
2. Eat Worse: So, this may be a bit extreme, but it’s my way of saying I’m not going to start a diet I can’t stick to. I’m not going to go out and stuff my face, but I am going to enjoy my tasty snacks without feeling overwhelming guilt. After all, life’s too short to go without funnel cake.
3. Embrace My Bad Habits: The nail biting. The excessive gum chewing. Eating dinner in front of the TV on my comfy couch. All things I promise myself I’m going to take care of each January. Well, not this year. In fact, as I write this, I’m chewing a mouth full of delicious Double Bubble, while watching TV on my comfy couch! Take that Resolution Rulers!
4. Forget About My Body: No, not really, but I am going to stress less. I tend to be one of those people who freaks out over each new bump on my skin (it must be skin cancer), only to find out that it’s just a pimple. (Yes, I know I’m too old for pimples, but that seems to be a cruel trick life wants to play on me. Of course, with burns like this in my past, maybe I have good reason to be concerned.) In other words, I’m going to spend less time stressing. Lord knows it’s that stress that’s doing my body the real harm in the first place.
5. Throw My Money Away: Nah. I’d like to think I’m smarter than that, but I’m doing away with the resolution to be better with my money. I have a savings account. I donate to charities. I contribute to my 401k on a regular basis. If you ask me, that’s being wise with the cash. So, if I feel like buying a sweater I don’t really need or I get the urge to make a Wendover run (small gambling town on the UT/NV border), by gosh, I’m going to do it. I work hard, and I deserve it!
6. Waste More Time: I like a mean game of Guitar Hero. I enjoy blowing my evening on a good blog hop (reading your blogs always makes me happy). And I take joy in throwing away precious minutes (sometimes hours) wandering the aisles of my local Target. So sue me. Sure, there are better things I should be doing with my time, like reading up on world issues or donating my blood, but I believe it's the “wasted” moments that make a busy life balanced.
7. Mess Up My House: Well, this one isn’t really possible, as I don’t think my home could be any dirtier, but I’m going to start off this year with the idea that this is okay. It shows that my home is lived in and enjoyed, and it doesn’t get much better than that, now does it?
If there’s anything my hardships in 2008 have taught me, it’s that life’s fragile. There’s no sense in dwelling on the shouldas, the couldas and the wouldas. Instead, we should recognize the great people we are, despite the things we should be doing. We’re only human after all, and we’re just doing what we can to survive, which seems pretty admirable to me. So, this year I’m taking my usual resolutions—the ones I rarely keep and then feel lousy about blowing—and I’m stuffing them. I hope this blog post will help you do the same and motivate you to make a resolution worth keeping: LOVE WHO YOU ARE!